if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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