i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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