I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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