The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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