Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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