Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
