There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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