He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
