I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
