Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
