i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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