hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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