They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
