is your mom at the bar?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Acid is not a monday night drug
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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