NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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