butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
