1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I have so many feelings about this burrito
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
