Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
