You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
