cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
