lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you will always have a special place in my vag
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Randomize
