Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
