you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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