it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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