We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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