He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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