Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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