i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
