If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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