I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
