i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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