Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
