We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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