the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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