I'm jealous of your bromance
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
