To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
