Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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