Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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