fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Two words: blizzard sex
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
