My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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