I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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