I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
