Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
