I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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