and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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