Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
