Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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