pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
