Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
