Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
