i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
