Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Be still, my beating vagina.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
