Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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