"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
