Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
