After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize