butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
