All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize