Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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