Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
