it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
