my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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