I don't think brook has ever known best
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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