his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
