You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
