Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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