so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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