drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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