Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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