Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize