But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
