i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I need to stop coming to work sober
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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