Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize