Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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